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Dr. John MacArthur Daily Bible

"... many... want a 'Christ' that makes no demands of them but of whom they can make their selfish personal requests" (490).

Beth Moore, Loving Well

Father, I'm not doing this for them so much as for me. I sacrifice what I feel are my rights in this situation, all the things I would really like to say and the grudge I would like to hold. I lay it down, and I forgive instead. In the strength and power of the Holy Spirit, I can (58).

Ron Deal The Smart Stepfamily

"...oh, how our pride keeps us from following His directions! I'm told that the following is a radio conversation that took place off the coast of Newfoundland.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a U. S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north; I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is the lighthouse. Your call (34-35).

"If you are successful in getting your children to become uncooperative and disrespectful toward the [non-custodial parent], stress is created in the other home, which is then carried back into your home by the children. In other words, unwholesome talk about the other home is an effective for of self sabotage!... We can argue with his/her directions or comply with the Lighthouse. Which are you doing?" (37)


"Make a list of the losses your children have experienced, and you'll be humbled by what they have been forced to give up" (38).

"... divorce doesn't really end family life; it just reorganizes it.... Emotional and relational dynamics that preceded the divorce continue even though the family living arrangements have been restructured" (41).

Can your children be free "... to share joys, pains, heartaches, and experiences without fear of retaliation or rejection?... Maintain a non-defensive attitude. Focus on listening, not defending yourself."

"What was the good and bad of your parents' divorce for you?

"How did your life change after that?

"What have you lost that hasn't been regained?

"During the single-parent years, what was good/okay for you? What was a pain? How was life different for you?" (44)

"Flexibility includes changing your assumptions of how things should be and opening yourself to creative solutions to common problems" (45).

"If you asked your children... whether they felt you were a good listener, what would they say? In what ways does defensiveness keep you from listening well?

"Identify the child with whom you have the most conflict or the child to whom you are the least bonded. Share was you think it would be like to be that member of your [family]. Consider his/her losses, sense of belonging, fears, responsibilities, and hurts" (46).