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Chip Ingram, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy

"The person who can own up to mistakes is greater than the one who knows how to avoid making the" (197).

"We're more apt to use anger as a weapon when we're defending ourselves and our actions" (198).

Anger Prevention, Part I: Minimize Stress

1. Eliminate hurry.
2. Downsize expectations.
3. Learn to say no.
4. Admit mistakes and imperfections.
5. Laugh more--don't take life too seriously.
6. Take care of yourself.
7. Know what triggers your anger (202).

"What responsibilities do you have right now that you wish you had said no to? What guidelines and criteria can you develop that will help you know when to say no to those kinds of things?" (203)

Mother Teresa as quoted in Ingram: "'Why should I expend energy in anger that could be spent in love?"

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the source of some of your deepest problems is your own anger at yourself? In fact, people who are angry with themselves, often unknowingly, develop behaviors to punish themselves....(Weisinger as quoted) effects of self-anger....make yourself look bad (obese) and feel bad (depressed)..." (207).

"The more we dwell on anger, the more it's likely to become our dwelling place" (210).

"Prayer lifts us into God's presence where we begin to see things from His perspective" (212).

1. Get right with God.
2. Experience His lavish love.
3. Accept who He made you to be.
4. Trust Him and His sovereignty.
5. Be a gracious person ("grace-giver") who prays (213-214).


"What things do you wish were different in your life?" (214)

"God-maximizing prayer: 'Lord You've suffered more offenses than anyone in the history of the world, and some of those offenses have come from me. You have more right than anyone to be angry and to withhold grace, yet You lavish Your love on [me]. Thank You. I declare my complete trust in Your promise to work all things together for good and to execute justice in the right way at the right time. Help me to continually cast that responsibility off on You and, in the place of my anger, to be an extravagant grace giver. Let me see the power of grace to change my life and the lives of others" (215).

"We experience healthy, constructive anger when we 1) are quick to hear (others, our primary feelings, and God), 2) slow to speak, 3) slow to anger, 4) express it, 5) express it appropriately, 6) resolve it" (234).

"To disagree is one thing; to be disagreeable is another" (241).

areas of unresolved anger (247)

Ask God practical steps I should take toward resolving anger wounds.

"'God, I admit that my response has been sinful. I repent of it. I want to lay it aside. I want my life to honor You'" (251).

Am I able to give to, help, and serve those who have hurt me? (264)

Who has hurt me? when? how?
Whom have I hurt? when? how?

Confess, repent, forgive, love (265).

Does the anger I feel toward others anger God? I'm to be angry about only what angers Him (268).

Harriet Lerner: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships